Eragon © Christopher Paolini
Warning: Slash, uke Murtagh, me being cruel. --;
Second Chance
Chapter2
“Why did you shut yourself from me?” Saphira asked with an annoyed tone through their mental link.
“I’m sorry…”
Saphira eyes suddenly caught the sight of the sleeping figure wrapped in a dirty blanket in Eragon’s arms. Earlier in the dungeon, Eragon had decided to put Murtagh into a deep sleep by using magic. He didn’t want to fight his brother who kept insisting to stay, while Eragon would not let him.
“I… I thought we have made sure that we have freed everyone…”
“Apparently, we missed this one.”
Eragon moved closer toward Saphira so that she could see the person.
“Is that Murtagh?!”
Eragon nodded.
“But how?”
“I don’t understand that myself.”
“He looks terrible…”
Eragon stared at his brother’s face. Just now he could see it clearly. He couldn’t help but felt pity for his brother. He looked sickly pale and malnourished. Bruises littered his face. And the Empire symbol… Eragon gritted his teeth.
How could they?
“I think we need to find an inn and get his wounds treated before we get back.”
“I agree…”
Eragon stared at Murtagh’s body, which was laid on the bed. He hesitantly pulled the rag that wrapped his brother, slightly afraid of what he might see.
His eyes widened in horror at what came to his eyes. Bruises, cuts, scars, welts, and burns covered his brother’s body. Some were old, some were still fresh. Although he had prepared himself to see those kinds of things on Murtagh as he had vaguely seen in the dungeon, it still shocked him. He couldn’t prevent tears from flowing out of his eyes.
Nearly every part of Murtagh’s skin was bluish purple from bruises. Eragon carefully touched his ribcage and felt several broken ribs. Some had healed themselves in a way they shouldn’t have. If he wished to fix them, he would have to break them once again. As he cast the spell, a loud crack was heard. Eragon bit his lower lip. He then broke another one. Fortunately for Murtagh, he was asleep, so he felt no pain. But what about last time, when they were being broken by Galbatorix?
“Weise Heil.” He said, and the broken ribs healed.
Eragon then examined Murtagh’s arms. One was bent at an odd angle. His shoulders were also dislocated. He continued with checking the lower part of Murtagh’s body. His kneecaps were black, and Eragon was quite sure the skin hid severe bone fractures. And his right shin jutted out of his torn skin. What wrenched his heart the most was when he saw some minor burn on his brother’s manhood.
Even his most ‘sacred’ part was being violated. Eragon thought bitterly.
He lifted Murtagh’s body to see his back. Once again, horror struck him. Earlier, he only paid attention to his scar, which was given by Morzan. But now he saw how messed up his brother’s back was. White scars crisscrossed his whole back. There were some newly healed wounds, and some which were still very fresh. In one he could even see the white bone slightly protruding from the wound. From the looks of it, they hadn’t only used an ordinary whip on him, but also the one with sharp objects at its tips that could rip the flesh when it was being pulled back. And how the scar from Morzan was still so prominent on his back while it should have disappeared under the hundred whip marks, Eragon could only find one answer for that.
They had it reopened. Eragon clenched his fist until it turned white.
In addition to the whip marks, there were also bruises and burns on his back. And some strange things stuck to it here and there. Eragon frowned a bit. They looked like drops of candle wax.
He laid Murtagh back on the bed and went to get some warm water and a small towel. He then started to clean Murtagh’s body. In a short time the white towel turned brown. Eragon cursed. How had he not died from infections?!
Of course it’s magic… he thought bitterly.
After he had finished cleaning Murtagh or at least, he was clean enough before he could take a bath, he healed his wounds. It took a lot of energy from Eragon. Even though he had grown much stronger now, he still couldn’t heal of all his wounds. Murtagh needed a powerful healer to take care of him. But he was afraid that they might have still recognized the red rider. They still misunderstood him. In addition, he had that Empire symbol on his cheek. Even if he wasn’t the red rider, a lot of people hated Galbatorix’s slaves in general.
They were being hated because of their choice to become slaves which, in Eragon’s opinion, wasn’t really a choice. Servitude or death. He couldn’t blame those people for their fear of death. Most of them were just weak villagers whose villages had been destroyed. And for his brother, he didn’t even have a choice in that matter. Eragon was certain, if he had ever had a choice, he would have chosen death. Murtagh knew better than anyone else that death was much more preferable than to live in Galbatorix’s hand.
Eragon had heard from Nasuada that many of the Empire’s slaves ran away and sought the protection of the Varden. However, when they got to the Varden, what they received was imprisonment. The first reason was indeed for protection, because people hated them. The second reason was to prevent a spy, although they could cause no harm. Sometimes, they were forced to become a ‘slave’ to the Varden. Given a job that was wanted by no one without a suitable payment. Even the leader of the Varden couldn’t do much about this. Eragon wasn’t sure if the condition would change after the war. It seemed being a slave for Galbatorix meant being a slave for eternity.
He stroked the symbol on his brother’s face gently. Even with that disgusting thing on his face, Murtagh still looked beautiful. Even though his face was sickly pale and blue with bruises, even though he looked so thin and malnourished, he looked beautiful. Eragon thought he was even more beautiful than when the first time they met. He took a few strands of his hair, it had grown very long. Perhaps that was the thing that had made him look more beautiful, even though it was currently dirty and matted.
He had always loved his brother. But he didn’t realize it, not until his brother’s ‘death’. Before, he had always thought he loved Arya. When he thought Murtagh betray him, he felt so disappointed. He hated him, yet never stopped loving him. After he lost Murtagh, his world seemed to shatter. That time he realized how important he was to him.
Now he had his second chance, Eragon swore he would never let Murtagh leave him again. He would put Murtagh above everything in his life.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Second Chance 1
Eragon © Christopher Paolini
Warning: Slash, weird pairing, me being cruel. --;
Chapter 1
The Empire had been defeated. King Galbatorix was dead. All people were cheering. Prisoners were set free. Happy tears were spilled as family once again reunited.
Eragon smiled a fake smile as some prisoners and his family thanked him for defeating Galbatorix. While he should be the happiest person for being called the greatest man in Alagaesia now, he could feel nothing but pain and regret. He couldn’t help not to feel jealous as he saw those people finally could be together again with their family. And him? His only remaining family had gone, sacrificed for their freedom.
It had been four years since a messenger brought him a gift from an anonymous sender. He and his friends were so surprised when they found out that it was the last dragon egg. He was in a state of euphoria, especially when the egg hatched for his cousin. However, few days after that, another messenger brought him a news that the king had the red rider executed for defying him. At first, he didn’t believe the king dared to execute his own rider. Not until he saw it with his own eyes.
Flashback
Murtagh’s head was displayed in the town square. His face was covered with bruises and scars as a proof of the torture he had gone through.
“No! It can’t be him! It can’t be him!!” Eragon cried as he struggled to free himself from Roran’s grasp.
“Stop it, cousin! They might recognize us!” Roran hissed as he dragged Eragon away from the crowd which surrounding that horrible display.
After they had finally left the crowd, Roran let go off his cousin. But...
“It can’t be him… It can’t be… I will go back and save him no matter what!”
“Eragon! Don’t be foolish! He is dead!” Roran said sadly.
“NO! The last time, we also thought he was! But he wasn’t! I won’t make the same mistake!”
“You saw it with your own eyes!”
“No…” Eragon fell to his knees and cried.
“Accept it Eragon… At least he died as a hero…”
End Flashback
A hero? No… Murtagh died as the biggest traitor in Alagaesia. First he betrayed the Varden and after that he betrayed Galbatorix to take his throne. That’s what everybody knew. No one knew that he was the one who stole the egg and gave it to the Varden. Galbatorix kept that as a secret so that Murtagh would forever be the shadow of Morzan. And he, Eragon, couldn’t reveal the truth by risking his identity as the son of Morzan to be discovered. Even if he had done so, no one would have believed him.
It was all his fault… He was the main reason of his brother’s suffering, even when he was still in his mother’s womb. If it hadn’t been for him, Murtagh wouldn’t have had to lose his mother, left alone with his abusive father and Galbatorix who ruined his childhood. If it hadn’t been for him, he wouldn’t have had to lose his freedom. He wouldn’t go to the Varden and imprisoned. More importantly he wouldn’t be captured by Galbatorix and unwillingly became his slave.
Guilty overwhelmed him as he remembered what he said to him the last time they met,
“I don’t have a scar on my back anymore”
He had never thought those cruel words would be the last thing he said to his brother. He still hurt him even after he had risked himself being punished for him. He even asked him to die and swore that he would kill him. Now, he really had died for him and he regretted everything. But it’s too late…
It’s too late to say sorry…
He always thought that Murtagh had betrayed him. But now he realized how wrong he had been. Murtagh had never betrayed him, at least not willingly. He stayed loyal to him until the end. He was the one who had betrayed Murtagh.
He left his thought when someone patted his shoulder. It was his cousin, Roran. It seemed he realized the gloomy aura that surrounded Eragon.
“Are you okay?”
Eragon nodded, his expression still hadn’t changed.
“We have freed all prisoners. Let’s go back.”
“He has been free, too.”
Eragon smiled sadly, “I know.” He paused for a while and then talked again “Just go first, Roran. I think I want to look around this place a bit more.”
“Are you sure?” Honestly, Roran didn’t really like the idea of leaving Eragon alone in the place where his brother had been tortured to death.
Eragon nodded
“Don’t worry, Roran. He will be alright.” Saphira suddenly talked “Eragon, take as much time as you want. I’ll wait for you here.”
“Thanks, Saphira…”
“I’ll go then” Roran said as he took his leave.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Eragon could hardly understand himself why he chose to stay. Looking around the dungeon only made him feel worse. It was dark, very dark. If he hadn’t brought a torch with him, he could have hardly seen anything. The coldness and the stale air made him hard to breathe. The condition alone was enough to make the prisoners lose their hope. Not to mention the torture.
He checked every cell even though everyone had made sure that no one’s left before. Of course they were all empty, but he still checked them one by one. Finally he arrived at the deepest part of the dungeon. Behind the door in front of him must have been the torture chamber. There were two torture chambers in that dungeon. The first one was for ordinary crime and the second was Galbatorix’ private torture chamber which was located in the deepest part of the dungeon and was used only in “special occasion”.
When he opened the door, the first sight which welcomed him was his brother hanged in chains. His body was covered with wounds. Eragon quickly rushed to his side, but he found no one aside of himself.
He laughed bitterly at that. What did he expect? His brother had died four years ago. Four years… Yet still not enough to erase his regret. His haunted face appeared in his dream every time he slept. Every night, he watched him being tortured mercilessly by the king.
Those nightmares were horrible, but they were nothing compared to the reality. This torture chamber was so much worse than the one in his dream. Blood was everywhere, most had already dried. The smell stung his nose, unlike in his dream where he smelled nothing of this. And what scared him the most was the various torture instruments which had never appeared in his dream. Eragon had no idea at all how to use them. He imagined what kind of pain they could have caused as he stared at some rusty metal instruments on the table.
He remembered what Galbatorix told him.
“He knows them all Eragon… He knows every single instrument I have in my torture chamber. I have tried all of them on him”
Eragon overthrew the table angrily. The instruments fell to the dirty floor, producing some loud noises. Eragon punched the wall repeatedly until his hand bleed. He wished he could turn back the time. He had forced his brother to walk the path of destruction while he actually had had so many chances to save him. Now, he cried for one more chance, but he knew it’s too late.
Suddenly the wall in front of him moved, revealing a dark passageway. Eragon was surprised to find a secret passage there although it wasn’t really surprising for Galbatorix to have something like that in his dungeon. Eragon entered the passageway, and examined his surrounding.
There were few cells there. The conditions were so much worse then the part of the dungeon he saw earlier. It was much darker, colder and the smell… He could hardly stand it. The smells of blood, rotten corpse, and shit mixed together. Eragon nearly jumped when he examined a cell and found a skeleton inside of it. He shuddered. It couldn’t be his brother, could it?
The thought was quickly wiped out when he heard chains rattling from one of the cells.
Perhaps it’s just a rat. He told himself. Nevertheless, he moved to check it.
He stared in horror as he found someone inside the cell in the very corner.
“Don’t worry! I will get you out of there!” he said
Damn! I don’t have the key!
“Do you know where the key is?” Eragon asked.
The prisoner didn’t react at all. He just continued to sit there with his head tilted forward that his long matted hair covered his face.
“I guess no…”
Eragon used his sword to destroy the padlock and then he entered. The prisoner still didn’t give any reaction. He looked like he had been dead, but his chest was moving up and down from breathing.
He is alive, but he is no better than dead. Eragon thought.
“Let’s go out” he offered his hand to help the prisoner to stand up, but the prisoner turned himself away from Eragon. He just wrapped a rag, which seemed to be his blanket, around his body tighter.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he touched his face.
When Eragon’s finger made a contact with his skin, the prisoner screamed hysterically. As he tried to kicked and punched Eragon, the rag fell from his body, revealing his naked skeletal body which was covered with scars and bruises.
Eragon pulled his hand back. The prisoner quickly retreated to the corner of his tiny little cell, trying to get as far as he could from Eragon. He curled his naked form there, his hand on his head as if trying to protect it.
God, what have they done to him?
To be completely naked in a place as cold as that only with a dirty old rag that could barely protect him from the cold, did they even consider this man as a human?! To be naked and shackled, only animals deserved that kind of treatment!
Even an animal doesn’t deserve to be starved and beaten like this.
Suddenly Eragon caught a glimpse at a familiar scar on the prisoner’s back which was half hidden by his long hair. It looked similar with the one on Murtagh’s back.
It can’t be!
“Murtagh…?”
The prisoner suddenly looked tense. He miserably tried to avoid Eragon even further.
“It’s you, isn’t it?!”
Eragon grabbed his hand. Again, the prisoner screamed as he tried to get away from Eragon.
“It’s me, Eragon! Don’t you recognize me?!”
“No…” he moaned softly. That was indeed murtagh’s voice.
“Look at me! It’s your brother… Eragon… I won’t hurt you…” Eragon said as he brought Murtagh’s face to face his own.
“No… don’t…” Murtagh muttered although he didn’t give much resistance.
Eragon was utterly shock when he saw his brother’s face. The Empire symbol had been branded on his left cheek which meant he was the king’s possession. Eragon had seen some of Galbatorix’ slaves have it on their body. But to be branded on the face was a total humiliation. Had that thing happened to him, he would have never wanted show his face to anyone ever again.
Murtagh turned his face away from Eragon in shame. Eragon didn’t know what to say to comfort his brother. All he could do was to hold him in his arm.
“No…” Murtagh whimpered, “I’m dirty, Eragon…”
“It doesn’t matter” He hugged him even tighter.
His body was covered with grim and smelled totally like a shit. It looked like he hadn’t had a bath for weeks. Or perhaps months? But it mattered not. For him, Murtagh was like a jewel. A jewel is a jewel that it won’t lose its value just because it is covered by mud.
“You don’t understand… Just leave me.”
Leaving him in such a miserable place? Eragon had never been in a place worse than his brother’s cell. Just to think that someone lived there had made him sick. And that unfortunate someone was his brother, and he had been there for years… And now he asked him to leave him there? Only with a dirty old rag as his only possession?! How could he think that he would be able to do that?
“Let’s leave together, brother.”
“I can’t…”
“Why?”
“I have no other place to go in this world…”
Eragon was silenced. Murtagh might have been right. People thought that he was a traitor. But Eragon knew he wasn’t. And he didn’t deserve to be abandoned in a place such as that. That place was not for human to live in.
It was way too dark and cold and dank. Not to mention the sanitation is really bad. Eragon thought bitterly as he stared at the shit bucket in the corner. The content had overflowed to the grimy floor.
Even if he wanted to stay away from the rest of the world, it would definitely not here.
Or at least not alone…
Murtagh was startled when his brother suddenly sat beside him.
“Wh…what are you doing?!” he asked
“If you choose to stay here, I will stay here as well.”
“Why?”
“I can’t live without you, Murtagh.”
Murtagh turned his back away to Eragon. He brought his arm around his leg and buried his face on his knees. He sobbed quietly. That was the first time in his life Eragon saw his brother crying.
Warning: Slash, weird pairing, me being cruel. --;
Chapter 1
The Empire had been defeated. King Galbatorix was dead. All people were cheering. Prisoners were set free. Happy tears were spilled as family once again reunited.
Eragon smiled a fake smile as some prisoners and his family thanked him for defeating Galbatorix. While he should be the happiest person for being called the greatest man in Alagaesia now, he could feel nothing but pain and regret. He couldn’t help not to feel jealous as he saw those people finally could be together again with their family. And him? His only remaining family had gone, sacrificed for their freedom.
It had been four years since a messenger brought him a gift from an anonymous sender. He and his friends were so surprised when they found out that it was the last dragon egg. He was in a state of euphoria, especially when the egg hatched for his cousin. However, few days after that, another messenger brought him a news that the king had the red rider executed for defying him. At first, he didn’t believe the king dared to execute his own rider. Not until he saw it with his own eyes.
Flashback
Murtagh’s head was displayed in the town square. His face was covered with bruises and scars as a proof of the torture he had gone through.
“No! It can’t be him! It can’t be him!!” Eragon cried as he struggled to free himself from Roran’s grasp.
“Stop it, cousin! They might recognize us!” Roran hissed as he dragged Eragon away from the crowd which surrounding that horrible display.
After they had finally left the crowd, Roran let go off his cousin. But...
“It can’t be him… It can’t be… I will go back and save him no matter what!”
“Eragon! Don’t be foolish! He is dead!” Roran said sadly.
“NO! The last time, we also thought he was! But he wasn’t! I won’t make the same mistake!”
“You saw it with your own eyes!”
“No…” Eragon fell to his knees and cried.
“Accept it Eragon… At least he died as a hero…”
End Flashback
A hero? No… Murtagh died as the biggest traitor in Alagaesia. First he betrayed the Varden and after that he betrayed Galbatorix to take his throne. That’s what everybody knew. No one knew that he was the one who stole the egg and gave it to the Varden. Galbatorix kept that as a secret so that Murtagh would forever be the shadow of Morzan. And he, Eragon, couldn’t reveal the truth by risking his identity as the son of Morzan to be discovered. Even if he had done so, no one would have believed him.
It was all his fault… He was the main reason of his brother’s suffering, even when he was still in his mother’s womb. If it hadn’t been for him, Murtagh wouldn’t have had to lose his mother, left alone with his abusive father and Galbatorix who ruined his childhood. If it hadn’t been for him, he wouldn’t have had to lose his freedom. He wouldn’t go to the Varden and imprisoned. More importantly he wouldn’t be captured by Galbatorix and unwillingly became his slave.
Guilty overwhelmed him as he remembered what he said to him the last time they met,
“I don’t have a scar on my back anymore”
He had never thought those cruel words would be the last thing he said to his brother. He still hurt him even after he had risked himself being punished for him. He even asked him to die and swore that he would kill him. Now, he really had died for him and he regretted everything. But it’s too late…
It’s too late to say sorry…
He always thought that Murtagh had betrayed him. But now he realized how wrong he had been. Murtagh had never betrayed him, at least not willingly. He stayed loyal to him until the end. He was the one who had betrayed Murtagh.
He left his thought when someone patted his shoulder. It was his cousin, Roran. It seemed he realized the gloomy aura that surrounded Eragon.
“Are you okay?”
Eragon nodded, his expression still hadn’t changed.
“We have freed all prisoners. Let’s go back.”
“He has been free, too.”
Eragon smiled sadly, “I know.” He paused for a while and then talked again “Just go first, Roran. I think I want to look around this place a bit more.”
“Are you sure?” Honestly, Roran didn’t really like the idea of leaving Eragon alone in the place where his brother had been tortured to death.
Eragon nodded
“Don’t worry, Roran. He will be alright.” Saphira suddenly talked “Eragon, take as much time as you want. I’ll wait for you here.”
“Thanks, Saphira…”
“I’ll go then” Roran said as he took his leave.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Eragon could hardly understand himself why he chose to stay. Looking around the dungeon only made him feel worse. It was dark, very dark. If he hadn’t brought a torch with him, he could have hardly seen anything. The coldness and the stale air made him hard to breathe. The condition alone was enough to make the prisoners lose their hope. Not to mention the torture.
He checked every cell even though everyone had made sure that no one’s left before. Of course they were all empty, but he still checked them one by one. Finally he arrived at the deepest part of the dungeon. Behind the door in front of him must have been the torture chamber. There were two torture chambers in that dungeon. The first one was for ordinary crime and the second was Galbatorix’ private torture chamber which was located in the deepest part of the dungeon and was used only in “special occasion”.
When he opened the door, the first sight which welcomed him was his brother hanged in chains. His body was covered with wounds. Eragon quickly rushed to his side, but he found no one aside of himself.
He laughed bitterly at that. What did he expect? His brother had died four years ago. Four years… Yet still not enough to erase his regret. His haunted face appeared in his dream every time he slept. Every night, he watched him being tortured mercilessly by the king.
Those nightmares were horrible, but they were nothing compared to the reality. This torture chamber was so much worse than the one in his dream. Blood was everywhere, most had already dried. The smell stung his nose, unlike in his dream where he smelled nothing of this. And what scared him the most was the various torture instruments which had never appeared in his dream. Eragon had no idea at all how to use them. He imagined what kind of pain they could have caused as he stared at some rusty metal instruments on the table.
He remembered what Galbatorix told him.
“He knows them all Eragon… He knows every single instrument I have in my torture chamber. I have tried all of them on him”
Eragon overthrew the table angrily. The instruments fell to the dirty floor, producing some loud noises. Eragon punched the wall repeatedly until his hand bleed. He wished he could turn back the time. He had forced his brother to walk the path of destruction while he actually had had so many chances to save him. Now, he cried for one more chance, but he knew it’s too late.
Suddenly the wall in front of him moved, revealing a dark passageway. Eragon was surprised to find a secret passage there although it wasn’t really surprising for Galbatorix to have something like that in his dungeon. Eragon entered the passageway, and examined his surrounding.
There were few cells there. The conditions were so much worse then the part of the dungeon he saw earlier. It was much darker, colder and the smell… He could hardly stand it. The smells of blood, rotten corpse, and shit mixed together. Eragon nearly jumped when he examined a cell and found a skeleton inside of it. He shuddered. It couldn’t be his brother, could it?
The thought was quickly wiped out when he heard chains rattling from one of the cells.
Perhaps it’s just a rat. He told himself. Nevertheless, he moved to check it.
He stared in horror as he found someone inside the cell in the very corner.
“Don’t worry! I will get you out of there!” he said
Damn! I don’t have the key!
“Do you know where the key is?” Eragon asked.
The prisoner didn’t react at all. He just continued to sit there with his head tilted forward that his long matted hair covered his face.
“I guess no…”
Eragon used his sword to destroy the padlock and then he entered. The prisoner still didn’t give any reaction. He looked like he had been dead, but his chest was moving up and down from breathing.
He is alive, but he is no better than dead. Eragon thought.
“Let’s go out” he offered his hand to help the prisoner to stand up, but the prisoner turned himself away from Eragon. He just wrapped a rag, which seemed to be his blanket, around his body tighter.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he touched his face.
When Eragon’s finger made a contact with his skin, the prisoner screamed hysterically. As he tried to kicked and punched Eragon, the rag fell from his body, revealing his naked skeletal body which was covered with scars and bruises.
Eragon pulled his hand back. The prisoner quickly retreated to the corner of his tiny little cell, trying to get as far as he could from Eragon. He curled his naked form there, his hand on his head as if trying to protect it.
God, what have they done to him?
To be completely naked in a place as cold as that only with a dirty old rag that could barely protect him from the cold, did they even consider this man as a human?! To be naked and shackled, only animals deserved that kind of treatment!
Even an animal doesn’t deserve to be starved and beaten like this.
Suddenly Eragon caught a glimpse at a familiar scar on the prisoner’s back which was half hidden by his long hair. It looked similar with the one on Murtagh’s back.
It can’t be!
“Murtagh…?”
The prisoner suddenly looked tense. He miserably tried to avoid Eragon even further.
“It’s you, isn’t it?!”
Eragon grabbed his hand. Again, the prisoner screamed as he tried to get away from Eragon.
“It’s me, Eragon! Don’t you recognize me?!”
“No…” he moaned softly. That was indeed murtagh’s voice.
“Look at me! It’s your brother… Eragon… I won’t hurt you…” Eragon said as he brought Murtagh’s face to face his own.
“No… don’t…” Murtagh muttered although he didn’t give much resistance.
Eragon was utterly shock when he saw his brother’s face. The Empire symbol had been branded on his left cheek which meant he was the king’s possession. Eragon had seen some of Galbatorix’ slaves have it on their body. But to be branded on the face was a total humiliation. Had that thing happened to him, he would have never wanted show his face to anyone ever again.
Murtagh turned his face away from Eragon in shame. Eragon didn’t know what to say to comfort his brother. All he could do was to hold him in his arm.
“No…” Murtagh whimpered, “I’m dirty, Eragon…”
“It doesn’t matter” He hugged him even tighter.
His body was covered with grim and smelled totally like a shit. It looked like he hadn’t had a bath for weeks. Or perhaps months? But it mattered not. For him, Murtagh was like a jewel. A jewel is a jewel that it won’t lose its value just because it is covered by mud.
“You don’t understand… Just leave me.”
Leaving him in such a miserable place? Eragon had never been in a place worse than his brother’s cell. Just to think that someone lived there had made him sick. And that unfortunate someone was his brother, and he had been there for years… And now he asked him to leave him there? Only with a dirty old rag as his only possession?! How could he think that he would be able to do that?
“Let’s leave together, brother.”
“I can’t…”
“Why?”
“I have no other place to go in this world…”
Eragon was silenced. Murtagh might have been right. People thought that he was a traitor. But Eragon knew he wasn’t. And he didn’t deserve to be abandoned in a place such as that. That place was not for human to live in.
It was way too dark and cold and dank. Not to mention the sanitation is really bad. Eragon thought bitterly as he stared at the shit bucket in the corner. The content had overflowed to the grimy floor.
Even if he wanted to stay away from the rest of the world, it would definitely not here.
Or at least not alone…
Murtagh was startled when his brother suddenly sat beside him.
“Wh…what are you doing?!” he asked
“If you choose to stay here, I will stay here as well.”
“Why?”
“I can’t live without you, Murtagh.”
Murtagh turned his back away to Eragon. He brought his arm around his leg and buried his face on his knees. He sobbed quietly. That was the first time in his life Eragon saw his brother crying.
Monday, March 10, 2008
To be by Your Side
Summary: Cesare was ill and Chiaro wasn’t there for him. It’s up to Volpe to take care of him. Volpe/Cesare.
Warning: Shounen ai, blood, self harm.
Cantarella © Higuri You
Taddeo stared at his master who was writhing on the bed. Cesare had suffered a fever for three days, yet there was still no sign of improvement on his condition. There was no use to call a doctor or gave him some medicines. He knew it was no ordinary illness. Ordinary fever would never cause pain like the one his master suffered. He knew too well, it must have something to do with the demon inside him.
“Chi…a…ro…?” Cesare murmured. He raised his hand slightly as if he was trying to reach something.
Taddeo took Cesare’s hand with his own, “No, master… he is not here…”
It’s ‘him’ again! Why it’s always ‘him’ in his mind?! Why it must be ‘him’?! Taddeo gritted his teeth. As much as he hated to admit, his master needed that man now. He wondered where he was, that damn boy… He was probably having some fun with Cesare’s sweet little sister. Cesare’s mind was always full of him, but his was so full of that woman. Why couldn’t his master realize that there was no space for him in that man’s heart?
Cesare brought his hand to Taddeo’s face and caressed it softly. He smiled an angelic smile with his face still showing a pained expression. Taddeo smiled back sadly at him even though he knew that smile wasn’t meant for him.
“My angel, Michael…” Cesare whispered.
Suddenly Cesare pulled his body closer to him. To make him even more startled, he kissed him! Taddeo didn’t know how to react. He knew his master would never do this in his normal state. He must have mistaken him as Chiaro. Cesare would most certainly have been displeased if he had taken an advantage on this situation. Not that he cared anyway. But still he couldn’t believe he would sink that low to get the man he called master.
However, the temptation was becoming harder and harder to resist when Cesare licking his lips, seeking for an entrance into Taddeo’s mouth. Still unsure what to do, Taddeo hesitantly let him in. Somehow, his tongue tasted so sweet, the kind of sweetness that could never be described. He felt like he was in heaven, while in fact he was with a demon from hell.
After quite sometimes, Cesare slowly withdrew his tongue. However, Taddeo didn’t wish to let that sweetness go away just like that. He pushed his tongue into Cesare’s mouth, exploring every part of it. He knew this wasn’t right. It pained him to realize that Cesare thought he was Chiaro, but he couldn’t free himself from that addictive poison.
Cesare tightened his grip on Taddeo’s back, encouraging the older man even more. Taddeo was too drown into that kiss that he didn’t realize one of Cesare hands had left his back and reached a knife which was laid nearby. Suddenly Cesare sliced his subordinate’s back open with the knife. Taddeo groaned in pain. He was too shocked to do anything that he could only stared into the eyes of the man beneath him and found they were colored gold, which meant Cesare was under the demon’s influence.
He gritted his teeth as he felt Cesare pressed the wound with his fingers and ripped the bloody clothes off. Still wearing the innocent look in his face, Cesare licked his slender fingers which were stained with Taddeo’s blood.
Taddeo was horrified by what his master did. It wasn’t like him… No! It wasn’t him! There were several times Cesare acted like he wasn’t himself, but never like this.
“Cesare…”
He called his master’s name, hoping that he could bring him back to his real self. But Cesare brought his bloody fingers to his lips to silent him. They forcefully entered his mouth, letting him tasted his own blood which mixed with Cesare’s saliva.
Taddeo pulled himself back and moved several feet away from Cesare. Scared…, he hardly ever felt that in his life. But now, he was alone in that room only accompanied by a devil with an angelic face. He wished to leave by now, but he was afraid of what Cesare would do once he left. Especially with that knife still in his hand, who knows he might have harmed himself. He still remembered clearly when Cesare tried to chop his own arm. If he hadn’t come sooner, the boy would have lost his arm.
“Are you going to leave me again?” Cesare asked. His voice was trembling as if he was going to cry.
“Master, I…”
“Don’t lie to me!” Cesare cut him, “I know you too are scared of me! I thought you don’t, but you do! You are just the same as the others!!!” he screamed as hot tears streaming down his beautiful face.
Taddeo watched in horror as Cesare cut his throat with the knife he was holding. He immediately rushed to his side, not caring that he could be poisoned by the blood. To his surprise, the wound had healed itself. Cesare groaned in frustration. He tried to hurt himself more, but Taddeo held his hand preventing him from doing so.
“What do you think you are doing?!!!” Taddeo yelled.
“Let me go!” Cesare cried, trying to release his hand from Taddeo’s grasp.
“NO! Not until you promise not to hurt yourself anymore!”
Cesare struggled to get his hand free from Taddeo, but Taddeo was apparently stronger than him. In his desperate attempt to break free, Cesare stabbed Taddeo’s hand which was holding his. Taddeo jerked his hand, freeing Cesare’s. Cesare made a scratch on his chest, his flesh was ripped along with his white shirt which was now soaked with blood. Frustrated when his new wound closed again, he cried and made another one.
Another one…another one…and another. All he could feel was pain. His eyes were blurred with tears, but it’s not because of the pain he inflicted on himself. His body had gone numb or more likely his physical pain was nothing compared to the other pain he was also suffered at the same time. He couldn’t understand that pain, he had no idea how to make it go away. Somehow, wounding himself made him feel slightly better. But it didn’t last long because his body soon became used to it.
No… it wasn’t because he had been too numb that he didn’t feel the pain… A pair of gentle arms had wrapped themselves around his waist. In front of him, Taddeo was standing, hugging him. He made his own back as a shield for him. How could he have not realized that?!
“Why…?”
“I am the one who want to ask ‘why’!!!”
“I hate you!”
He scratched Taddeo’s back with the knife, hoping Taddeo would release him. But it only made Taddeo held him even tighter.
“I hate you!!! I hate you!!!!!” he cried as he kept hurting his subordinate with the knife until his back was a bloody mess, but still Taddeo didn’t release him.
“Hate me as you wish! Hurt me as you wish! But please…don’t hurt yourself like this…” Taddeo begged, somehow sounded like he would cry.
Cesare dropped his knife, for the last time he repeated, “I hate you…” and he rested his head on Taddeo’s shoulder, “Never leave my side anymore…”
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Cesare woke up on his bed. The fever had gone, but he barely remembered what happened last night. All he could remember was the pain and he tried killed himself because of it, but someone stopped him from doing so. He couldn’t remember who that someone was, though. Chiaro? It couldn’t be him… Taddeo? He didn’t think that guy could be that gentle.
So many bloodstains… What kind of horrible things had he done last night? Perhaps he had hurt somebody or perhaps he killed somebody… Could it be really Chiaro? He had been really mad of him, until now he still hated him. Could he have accidentally killed him?!
Cesare brought his hands to his head. The thought was overwhelming him that he didn’t realize Taddeo entered his room.
“Are you okay?” Taddeo asked.
“What…happened…last night? Why there are so many bloodstains?” ” Cesare’s voice was shaking.
Taddeo regretted that he didn’t clean the room before he left. But, if he hadn’t treated his wounds soon, he could have died from blood lost. To make it worse, he was poisoned by Cesare’s blood which was staining the knife. Although Cesare didn’t care about him as much as he did for Chiaro, he doubted Cesare would like to hear that he had accidentally killed his subordinate. Until now, the pain and the nausea hadn’t been better. However, it was the second thing he should worry about.
“You tried to kill yourself. You injured yourself quite badly, though the wounds were healed soon enough…” he answered honestly
“Who else then?”
“Ah?”
“Did I hurt someone else?”
He silenced for a while. He knew exactly what his Master was thinking. He could sense that he was worry about something. Cesare must not have been completely unaware of what had happened last night. He might have thought that Chiaro had come and he accidentally had injured him.
Cesare… if you knew it wasn’t him, but me, would you be as worry as now? - He thought sadly
“No.” he answered.
Cesare realized it was no use asking Taddeo this question for that guy would never tell him the truth.
“Don’t lie to me, Volpe…”
“I’m not lying. I had been by your side all the time and there was no way I would let ‘that man’ approached you, not anyone.”
As those words slipped out of his mouth, Taddeo blushed. He could feel his own jealousy and anger in each of them. He turned his back to Cesare, so that his master wouldn’t find out that his face was red.
For quite sometimes, not a single word came out. They both were silenced until Cesare decided to say something.
“Did I…hurt you?” he asked.
Taddeo refused to answer at first, but he realized that Cesare would insist him to tell the truth. Though he would never tell him, Cesare would eventually find out about everything himself.
Taddeo could only sigh at that, “Only because you thought that I was ‘him’.”
Silence again…
Cesare knew he had hurt someone physically aside of himself. For he could tell, the blood that had stained the room was not only the Cantarella. But for now, he wouldn’t force Taddeo to tell him the truth. He had hurt that man more than he had ever thought. He looked so worn out now. Perhaps he hadn’t rested at all since he fell sick!
“Volpe…”
“Yes?”
He wanted to tell him to leave and take some rest,
“Please, don’t leave me…”
But he told him to stay instead…
Owari
Warning: Shounen ai, blood, self harm.
Cantarella © Higuri You
Taddeo stared at his master who was writhing on the bed. Cesare had suffered a fever for three days, yet there was still no sign of improvement on his condition. There was no use to call a doctor or gave him some medicines. He knew it was no ordinary illness. Ordinary fever would never cause pain like the one his master suffered. He knew too well, it must have something to do with the demon inside him.
“Chi…a…ro…?” Cesare murmured. He raised his hand slightly as if he was trying to reach something.
Taddeo took Cesare’s hand with his own, “No, master… he is not here…”
It’s ‘him’ again! Why it’s always ‘him’ in his mind?! Why it must be ‘him’?! Taddeo gritted his teeth. As much as he hated to admit, his master needed that man now. He wondered where he was, that damn boy… He was probably having some fun with Cesare’s sweet little sister. Cesare’s mind was always full of him, but his was so full of that woman. Why couldn’t his master realize that there was no space for him in that man’s heart?
Cesare brought his hand to Taddeo’s face and caressed it softly. He smiled an angelic smile with his face still showing a pained expression. Taddeo smiled back sadly at him even though he knew that smile wasn’t meant for him.
“My angel, Michael…” Cesare whispered.
Suddenly Cesare pulled his body closer to him. To make him even more startled, he kissed him! Taddeo didn’t know how to react. He knew his master would never do this in his normal state. He must have mistaken him as Chiaro. Cesare would most certainly have been displeased if he had taken an advantage on this situation. Not that he cared anyway. But still he couldn’t believe he would sink that low to get the man he called master.
However, the temptation was becoming harder and harder to resist when Cesare licking his lips, seeking for an entrance into Taddeo’s mouth. Still unsure what to do, Taddeo hesitantly let him in. Somehow, his tongue tasted so sweet, the kind of sweetness that could never be described. He felt like he was in heaven, while in fact he was with a demon from hell.
After quite sometimes, Cesare slowly withdrew his tongue. However, Taddeo didn’t wish to let that sweetness go away just like that. He pushed his tongue into Cesare’s mouth, exploring every part of it. He knew this wasn’t right. It pained him to realize that Cesare thought he was Chiaro, but he couldn’t free himself from that addictive poison.
Cesare tightened his grip on Taddeo’s back, encouraging the older man even more. Taddeo was too drown into that kiss that he didn’t realize one of Cesare hands had left his back and reached a knife which was laid nearby. Suddenly Cesare sliced his subordinate’s back open with the knife. Taddeo groaned in pain. He was too shocked to do anything that he could only stared into the eyes of the man beneath him and found they were colored gold, which meant Cesare was under the demon’s influence.
He gritted his teeth as he felt Cesare pressed the wound with his fingers and ripped the bloody clothes off. Still wearing the innocent look in his face, Cesare licked his slender fingers which were stained with Taddeo’s blood.
Taddeo was horrified by what his master did. It wasn’t like him… No! It wasn’t him! There were several times Cesare acted like he wasn’t himself, but never like this.
“Cesare…”
He called his master’s name, hoping that he could bring him back to his real self. But Cesare brought his bloody fingers to his lips to silent him. They forcefully entered his mouth, letting him tasted his own blood which mixed with Cesare’s saliva.
Taddeo pulled himself back and moved several feet away from Cesare. Scared…, he hardly ever felt that in his life. But now, he was alone in that room only accompanied by a devil with an angelic face. He wished to leave by now, but he was afraid of what Cesare would do once he left. Especially with that knife still in his hand, who knows he might have harmed himself. He still remembered clearly when Cesare tried to chop his own arm. If he hadn’t come sooner, the boy would have lost his arm.
“Are you going to leave me again?” Cesare asked. His voice was trembling as if he was going to cry.
“Master, I…”
“Don’t lie to me!” Cesare cut him, “I know you too are scared of me! I thought you don’t, but you do! You are just the same as the others!!!” he screamed as hot tears streaming down his beautiful face.
Taddeo watched in horror as Cesare cut his throat with the knife he was holding. He immediately rushed to his side, not caring that he could be poisoned by the blood. To his surprise, the wound had healed itself. Cesare groaned in frustration. He tried to hurt himself more, but Taddeo held his hand preventing him from doing so.
“What do you think you are doing?!!!” Taddeo yelled.
“Let me go!” Cesare cried, trying to release his hand from Taddeo’s grasp.
“NO! Not until you promise not to hurt yourself anymore!”
Cesare struggled to get his hand free from Taddeo, but Taddeo was apparently stronger than him. In his desperate attempt to break free, Cesare stabbed Taddeo’s hand which was holding his. Taddeo jerked his hand, freeing Cesare’s. Cesare made a scratch on his chest, his flesh was ripped along with his white shirt which was now soaked with blood. Frustrated when his new wound closed again, he cried and made another one.
Another one…another one…and another. All he could feel was pain. His eyes were blurred with tears, but it’s not because of the pain he inflicted on himself. His body had gone numb or more likely his physical pain was nothing compared to the other pain he was also suffered at the same time. He couldn’t understand that pain, he had no idea how to make it go away. Somehow, wounding himself made him feel slightly better. But it didn’t last long because his body soon became used to it.
No… it wasn’t because he had been too numb that he didn’t feel the pain… A pair of gentle arms had wrapped themselves around his waist. In front of him, Taddeo was standing, hugging him. He made his own back as a shield for him. How could he have not realized that?!
“Why…?”
“I am the one who want to ask ‘why’!!!”
“I hate you!”
He scratched Taddeo’s back with the knife, hoping Taddeo would release him. But it only made Taddeo held him even tighter.
“I hate you!!! I hate you!!!!!” he cried as he kept hurting his subordinate with the knife until his back was a bloody mess, but still Taddeo didn’t release him.
“Hate me as you wish! Hurt me as you wish! But please…don’t hurt yourself like this…” Taddeo begged, somehow sounded like he would cry.
Cesare dropped his knife, for the last time he repeated, “I hate you…” and he rested his head on Taddeo’s shoulder, “Never leave my side anymore…”
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Cesare woke up on his bed. The fever had gone, but he barely remembered what happened last night. All he could remember was the pain and he tried killed himself because of it, but someone stopped him from doing so. He couldn’t remember who that someone was, though. Chiaro? It couldn’t be him… Taddeo? He didn’t think that guy could be that gentle.
So many bloodstains… What kind of horrible things had he done last night? Perhaps he had hurt somebody or perhaps he killed somebody… Could it be really Chiaro? He had been really mad of him, until now he still hated him. Could he have accidentally killed him?!
Cesare brought his hands to his head. The thought was overwhelming him that he didn’t realize Taddeo entered his room.
“Are you okay?” Taddeo asked.
“What…happened…last night? Why there are so many bloodstains?” ” Cesare’s voice was shaking.
Taddeo regretted that he didn’t clean the room before he left. But, if he hadn’t treated his wounds soon, he could have died from blood lost. To make it worse, he was poisoned by Cesare’s blood which was staining the knife. Although Cesare didn’t care about him as much as he did for Chiaro, he doubted Cesare would like to hear that he had accidentally killed his subordinate. Until now, the pain and the nausea hadn’t been better. However, it was the second thing he should worry about.
“You tried to kill yourself. You injured yourself quite badly, though the wounds were healed soon enough…” he answered honestly
“Who else then?”
“Ah?”
“Did I hurt someone else?”
He silenced for a while. He knew exactly what his Master was thinking. He could sense that he was worry about something. Cesare must not have been completely unaware of what had happened last night. He might have thought that Chiaro had come and he accidentally had injured him.
Cesare… if you knew it wasn’t him, but me, would you be as worry as now? - He thought sadly
“No.” he answered.
Cesare realized it was no use asking Taddeo this question for that guy would never tell him the truth.
“Don’t lie to me, Volpe…”
“I’m not lying. I had been by your side all the time and there was no way I would let ‘that man’ approached you, not anyone.”
As those words slipped out of his mouth, Taddeo blushed. He could feel his own jealousy and anger in each of them. He turned his back to Cesare, so that his master wouldn’t find out that his face was red.
For quite sometimes, not a single word came out. They both were silenced until Cesare decided to say something.
“Did I…hurt you?” he asked.
Taddeo refused to answer at first, but he realized that Cesare would insist him to tell the truth. Though he would never tell him, Cesare would eventually find out about everything himself.
Taddeo could only sigh at that, “Only because you thought that I was ‘him’.”
Silence again…
Cesare knew he had hurt someone physically aside of himself. For he could tell, the blood that had stained the room was not only the Cantarella. But for now, he wouldn’t force Taddeo to tell him the truth. He had hurt that man more than he had ever thought. He looked so worn out now. Perhaps he hadn’t rested at all since he fell sick!
“Volpe…”
“Yes?”
He wanted to tell him to leave and take some rest,
“Please, don’t leave me…”
But he told him to stay instead…
Owari
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Cantarella Theme 2
Cantarella theme
download
Compatible with Sony Ericson series:
S500, W580, K810, W880, K800, K790, W850
... may be... just try it on your Sony Ericson phones!
images taken from:
http://cantarella.dokkasou.net
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Failure
An Arthurian Legend poetry
In this moment we’re standing face to face,
I still dream that I could escape my fate.
But as I look into your eyes,
I know I couldn’t
for you don’t believe that I could.
You’ve never trusted me from the very beginning.
You trust everyone,
but not your own son.
I could see it in your eyes
distrust… shame… disappointment…
What makes you think you have the right
to look at me that way?
Is it because you think that I’m not loyal to you?
What makes you worthy of my loyalty?
Of my trust?
When you, yourself, have never trust me?
What makes me unworthy of your trust?
Am I a shame for you, Your Highness?
If I had have a choice,
I would have chosen that I had never existed at the first place.
Unfortunately I have never had any.
You have never given me one.
I have never been able to choose my own life.
It’s you who make the decision in my whole life.
And when you disappointed with your decision,
you discarded my life.
You’ve never know
how I was disappointed in you
not being able to make the right decision
for my death.
I really wish I was dead,
if I haven’t dead already.
You are my liege
and I am your servant.
But I’ve failed you
All I can do is silently apologize
for a thing that is beyond my control.
I know you won’t hear me,
you never hear me.
Your blood in my veins,
your flesh on my bone,
but you could never feel my pain
You are father
and I am your son.
And you’ve failed me
-----------------------------------------------------------------
An Arthurian Legend Poetry by me =p.. Thanks to pendevous-san for beta-reading this.
Mordred's thought when he faced King Arthur in Camlann.
For anyone who doesn't know, Mordred is King Arthur bastard son. He was conceived through an incestuous relationship between Arthur and his half sister, Morgause (It’s not really Arthur fault, though).
Merlin made a prophecy that one day, Arthur and his kingdom would be destroyed by a child who born on May Day (his own son). So, Arthur gathered all children who was born on May Day and put them into a ship. The ship ‘not accidentally’ sank, all babies died except Mordred -_-;;
At the end, Arthur and Mordred really killed each other.
In this moment we’re standing face to face,
I still dream that I could escape my fate.
But as I look into your eyes,
I know I couldn’t
for you don’t believe that I could.
You’ve never trusted me from the very beginning.
You trust everyone,
but not your own son.
I could see it in your eyes
distrust… shame… disappointment…
What makes you think you have the right
to look at me that way?
Is it because you think that I’m not loyal to you?
What makes you worthy of my loyalty?
Of my trust?
When you, yourself, have never trust me?
What makes me unworthy of your trust?
Am I a shame for you, Your Highness?
If I had have a choice,
I would have chosen that I had never existed at the first place.
Unfortunately I have never had any.
You have never given me one.
I have never been able to choose my own life.
It’s you who make the decision in my whole life.
And when you disappointed with your decision,
you discarded my life.
You’ve never know
how I was disappointed in you
not being able to make the right decision
for my death.
I really wish I was dead,
if I haven’t dead already.
You are my liege
and I am your servant.
But I’ve failed you
All I can do is silently apologize
for a thing that is beyond my control.
I know you won’t hear me,
you never hear me.
Your blood in my veins,
your flesh on my bone,
but you could never feel my pain
You are father
and I am your son.
And you’ve failed me
-----------------------------------------------------------------
An Arthurian Legend Poetry by me =p.. Thanks to pendevous-san for beta-reading this.
Mordred's thought when he faced King Arthur in Camlann.
For anyone who doesn't know, Mordred is King Arthur bastard son. He was conceived through an incestuous relationship between Arthur and his half sister, Morgause (It’s not really Arthur fault, though).
Merlin made a prophecy that one day, Arthur and his kingdom would be destroyed by a child who born on May Day (his own son). So, Arthur gathered all children who was born on May Day and put them into a ship. The ship ‘not accidentally’ sank, all babies died except Mordred -_-;;
At the end, Arthur and Mordred really killed each other.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Chaos Legion Theme
Chaos Legion theme
download
Compatible with Sony Ericson series:
S500, W580, K810, W880, K800, K790, W850
... may be... just try it on your Sony Ericson phones!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Legend of the Dragoon Theme
Legend of the Dragoon theme
download
Compatible with Sony Ericson series:
S500, W580, K810, W880, K800, K790, W850
... may be... just try it on your Sony Ericson phones!
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